Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Well here goes nothing....I having been wanting to write a letter to Kooper (my best friend Kami's baby-who was born silent due to a cord accident on July 11,2008-just days after SaraJane was born) but just haven't done it. I am sure that I won't get everything that I want to say down but he knows my heart.
I want to start off by telling you that I love you. Its amazing the feelings that I have for you. I miss you, I think about you all the time. I remember daily that 2am phone call and the 3am drive to the hospital. I couldn't even cry it hurt so bad.
It was a beautiful day, July 11, 2008- a bit raining. There was so much love in that room, I could feel it all around me like a hug. While we waited to meet your sweet body-your mom, your dad and I, all talked about you. How sad we were that we weren't going to be able to see you grow. But how excited we were to see you. The room was filled with a mix of crying, sobbing, talking, praying and even laughter.
I remember just after you were born and while you were on your moms tummy. I said, "It's amazing how much you can love and miss someone, that you've never met". But I was wrong-I have met you and I do know you, and me and my whole family-LOVE YOU.
It was so fun being pregnant with your mommy at the same time, we planned it you know. Some how your mommy and me convinced your daddy and RyanDavid to let us have babies at the same time. We were thrilled. When we found out we were actually pregnant and only due 3 days apart we were over the moon. I was a miracle we thought, and still do.
I had so much planning and throwing your baby shower. Your mom knew you would always be her little monkey, so that was her theme. She spent hours making the invites and we spyed on your registry. Making sure you would have everything you needed and wanted. You and SaraJane had 3 matching outfits before you were even born.
Heck you and SaraJane hungout a ton. We talked about the two of you almost everyday. I got so close to your mommy during that time. I even dreamed about you.
I miss you. I miss not hearing your mom complaining about getting up with you or how Kade steals your toys. I miss not being able to take all those matching outfit pictures we planned. I miss not posing you and SaraJane holding hands and kissing. And although I got to hold and kiss you, I am sad you haven't drooled or spit up on me. I am sad I can't watch you grow right now.
You need to know that you were so loved by your wonderful parents. Your mommy is a faithful beautiful woman. When speaking with her you can feel her love for the Lord and his gospel. She always lifts those around her and is constantly worried about others. She loved to talk about all the crazy tricks you did in her tummy (she never even complained about the stretch marks you gave her). She would happily tell anyone all about you and how excited she was for you to join her family. Your dad is a good man, honest, hard working and he really loves your mommy. He loved to show ultrasounds at work and he could not wait for you to come play. He was ready to make a sports team with you and Kade.
I hope that you are doing well and know how much I care for you. The pain is still so real- but so is the joy. If I could ask you a favor...Work hard and bless all those around you, spread the gospel, take care of your siblings that mommy and daddy have not met yet, and blow mom a kiss or whisper I love you when you can tell she's down (she is a great woman and she misses immensely).
I love you Kooper,
Jenna XOXO- Until we meet again.
Posted by Jenna Burningham, OTR/L at 12:02 AM